Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

What’s happening: TBH, we’ll all be going through it this week. On Saturday, Mercury, planet of communication, forms a harsh square to Pluto, planet of transformation and destruction. On Sunday, Mercury forms another square, this time to lucky Jupiter, and the Sun joins up with Uranus, planet of disruption. On Monday, Mercury enters lowkey Taurus. On Tuesday, Mercury forms yet another square, this time to Saturn, planet of blockages and restriction, and on Wednesday, Mercury conjoins disruptive Uranus.

Btw, with all that’s going on rn, remember that you can flirt and sext from a distance—if you’re social distancing solo, now’s the time to get a bit creative.

What that means:


I’m not gonna lie, Aries, it’s a wild weekend for you—and not necessarily in a good way. You’ll be thinking about your values and finding that they’re different from others’. Expect some pretty nasty arguments between you and your boo/crush if you two aren’t on the same page re: your relationship and future together—if you live together, someone’s probs sleeping on the couch after the fight. Mercury entering lowkey Taurus on Monday can help you cool off and talk things out if you remain level-headed—but thanks to Taurus’ notoriously stubborn vibes, additional arguments may break out. Try to save yourself from unnecessary stress and drama by being patient, and please try to compromise—otherwise, this fight might end up lasting all week. Yikes!


It feels like something suss is going on, and you’re trying to get to the bottom of it this weekend. Are you being left on read by your crush? Is your boo just not in the mood more than usual rn? The stress is absolutely eating you alive, but try to look on the bright side and remember it isn’t necessarily all about you. Your crush or S.O. might be dealing with stress that has nothing to do with you (like, uh, the pandemic we’re currently living through), so try calmly asking them, “What’s up?” If it is a “you” thing, talk it out, and if it isn’t (which is likely the case) then do what you can to help ‘em out! That way you can skrrt skrrt away from drama and strengthen your relationship rather than harm it.


You’re picking up vibes that somebody (probs a person in your squad) is totally into you. Whether you’re feeling the same way or not, you’re investigating every little interaction to make sure you’re not tripping and they really do like you. An ~intimate connection~ (if you know what I mean) may occur if they’re crushing on you, but if nothing happens, try your best to accept it and don’t start obsessing over it! All of the Taurus energy in the stars right now has you feeling lonely and maybe even ignored. As much as you’re craving companionship right now, you’re likely going to be taking care of your own needs in the bedroom for a hot minute. Take advantage of this moment and get to know yourself and what you like—in and out of bed.


You’re starting to feel like your relationship status needs an upgrade—or maybe a downgrade—and you’re focusing on how you and your crush/S.O. are vibing right now. Assess your chemistry both in and out of the bedroom. If things are going well, that’s great, but if things aren’t really running smoothly, avoid wishful thinking and don’t try to project how you want things to be. Uranus governs disruption and surprises and is a major player in this week’s astrology, so, TBH, things could get messy. The key to getting through this week is by being honest with yourself and others. That way, you can clear the air and get a clear picture of what’s really going on, rather than what you wish was going on.


This weekend wants you to put everything on the back burner while you focus on yourself. What does your day-to-day routine look like, and how can you make sure you’re living a healthy, productive life? What kinds of habits have you adopted recently, and are they helping or hindering you? For your love life to thrive, you have to be the best you that you can be. Saturn rules blockages and restrictions, and it’s hanging out in your chart’s relationships zone right now. On Tuesday, the blingy planet gets activated and you’re beginning to notice that there are definitely problems in your love life. The best way to handle them is to take care of yourself so you’re ready to deal with the issues. It’s not the sexiest week for you by a long shot, and whether your love life is in *chef’s kiss* perfect condition or totally flopping, you’re likely feeling that your crush/boo is more distant than ever. Patience, self-discipline, and honesty are crucial to surviving the speed bumps your love life is hitting this week.


You’re experiencing a remarkably deep connection with someone this weekend. It may manifest as a mind-blowing sexting sesh, an intimate heart-to-heart, or some other way of getting to know your crush/boo better than ever—but no matter how it appears, expect a profound transformation to occur in your love life. You’re incredibly prone to overthinking e v e r y t h i n g, especially when it comes to how others treat you. Try your best to not overanalyze every little interaction and live in the moment so that you can fully enjoy the intimate, eye-opening experience coming your way.


Saturday’s astrology suggests that you’re sharing a critical conversation with your S.O., and you might have to tackle some super tough topics that you’d rather sweep under the rug. You’re not a huge fan of feelings—air signs are way more intellectual than they are emotional, after all—but by allowing yourself to feel and share your emotions, you can make huge leaps and bounds in your relationship. Saturday’s tough even if you’re single, but if you play your cards right, Sunday’s astro allows you to look on the bright side and find a real solution to any problems popping up. There are intense sexual experiences happening on Sunday and Monday, which totally lift your mood, but on Tuesday, you’re feeling locked out of your love life. You might be ghosted, face an unexpected rejection, or just get left on read by your crush, and it really, really sucks. Again, be emotionally open and honest and tackle the problem head-on. You can enjoy another sexy encounter by the end of the week once you push past any problems that pop up.


Although life’s running as usual tonight, all of a sudden, you have a major conversation with your boo/crush that can potentially transform the way you approach your relationship. Do you both work to support and uplift each other, or is one person sinking your ‘ship? You have profound emotional depth, but when you feel threatened, upset, or hurt, you try to lock the world out and bottle up your feelings—this week, that simply is not an option. There’s a ton of cosmic action occurring in your chart’s zone of relationships, and it all looks like it’s shaking up your love life, big time. Just try to open up and share your thoughts and feelings. If you don’t speak about the issues you want to fix, then nothing’s going to change, Scorpio. Be honest and open, and your love life situation can only improve. Life in the bedroom seems pretty lacking ATM, but by the end of the week, you can patch up the probs, which leads to one of the best, most intimate sexual experiences ever. Enjoy.


A tough conversation about what you/your boo needs out of your relationship is occurring on Saturday. You’re infamous for being blunt and outspoken, but try to remember that you should listen twice as much as you speak—you’ve got two ears and one mouth, after all. A little patience and compromise goes a long way, Sagittarius, and it’s important to try to understand your boo/crush’s emotional and sexual needs. Instead of butting heads because your feelings and theirs aren’t perfectly in alignment, just talk it out so life (both in and out of the bedroom) can feel good again. It’s critical to tackle these things now, because Taurus season and Mercury in Taurus’ vibes are going to pull basically all of your focus towards your job by the end of the week.


Tonight and tomorrow are rather dull, but Sunday’s astro-weather is extremely volatile. It can lead to massive upgrades or heartbreaking downgrades, depending on how you play your cards. It’s become clear that you and your crush/boo are at odds as far as the condition (and the future) of your relationship goes, but try to loosen up and look on the bright side. If you have to share a tough convo with your S.O., don’t let it defeat you—tackle the problem, talk things out, and try to fix it up! Some kickass sex is happening on Sunday or Monday, whether you can find a solution to your issues or not, but you can’t use sexual compatibility to fix communication problems. Tuesday can bring yet another difficult convo. Again, a major change your relationship status is happening this week, and how you tackle the problems popping up over the weekend will determine what happens.


It’s all coming out this weekend, Aquarius. Any hidden feelings of resentment, jealousy, or suspicion you or your boo/crush have about each other are coming up, and you’re being urged by the astro-weather to honor your emotions and clearly communicate them with your partner. Your sign has a reputation for pushing your heart to the side and intellectualizing everything, but you’re being pulled through a tough challenge to feel your feelings and allow your partner to share their emotions, too. Venus in Gemini is helping you feel more romance and have more sex in your life, but just because you’re getting it on more doesn’t mean that there aren’t problems in your relationship. It’s a tough week. Honor your emotions, accept your partner’s, and persevere through any problems that come up and find a solution. You got this!


You’re experiencing a somewhat shady interaction with your crush/boo this weekend, and you, of course, go into panic mode and start overthinking everything. By being open and honest about your feelings and listening to what your crush/boo has to say about their own emotions, you can successfully navigate through any issues that pop up. You may discover that the shady interaction had nothing to do with you, and the other person may have just taken their stress out on you unintentionally. Just because one teensy interaction makes you feel beaten down does not mean that the sky is falling, Pisces! Obviously, you shouldn’t just forgive and forget the other person if they truly hurt you, and you can anticipate some heavy, serious conversations during the week. But by allowing yourself to be hopeful and upfront about wanting to find a way to fix any problems, you can finish the week out with a stronger relationship.

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