12 Fall Asleep Tips With Your Partner

Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our September issue, so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. Bye!


Three dating apps, 242 Tinder matches, one $14 sound machine, and three neck muscles strained. Yup, that’s everything it took me to finally write this many-years-in-the-making story about how to sleep with your partner.

So, hi, consider this your “how-to-sleep” bible—significant other edition. Because if you’re anything like me, you, too, struggle with this annoyance. And if you’ve felt personally victimized by your partner’s sleeping habits, I’ve got some solutions for you before you permanently kick them out of the bed.

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Luckily, they actually work too—probs because they’re brought to you by certified snoozing experts. So, trust, whatever issue you’re experiencing, there’s a solve for that. Stay tuned, we’re about to change your sleeping game for good.

The problem: Their snores make you contemplate redownloading Tinder

The short-term solve

Visualize the soothing rise and fall of beach waves as you listen to your bedmate’s inhales and exhales. (You didn’t know it at the time, but this is what all those $35 yoga classes have been training you for.)

The long-term solve

Consult a sleep specialist. Better that your partner figure out what’s really going on (like, say, sleep apnea) before you waste another penny on sub-par earplugs or a white-noise machine.

The problem: Their need to cuddle all night long leaves your limbs asleep—and you wide awake

The short-term solve

If your S.O. just has to be all up on you, remember that (1) it’s kinda cute and (2) your entire bod doesn’t need to be involved. Tell them before you fall asleep that you’d rather stick to just hand-holding.

The long-term solve

Welcome to your new bedtime BFF, the body pillow. Tell your partner to snuggle up to it when they’re ready to sleep so they have some thing to wrap their arms around that’s not, well, you.

The problem: You’re dating an IRL furnace

The short-term solve

Weird but effective: Getting your fireperson into a super-steamy pre-bed shower can actually help cool down both of your body temps for the night. You can also set the A/C to a chilly 65 degrees for optimal snoozing.

The long-term solve

If that high A/C bill is cutting into your take-out budget or whatever, order some sheets or PJs made from breathable, athleisure-ish material. Polyester and rayon fabrics wick away moisture, aka sweat.

The problem: Their laundry schedule is questionable (at best)

The short-term solve

If you’re posted up at your partner’s place, your best bet in the moment is to take off and flip over the pillowcase you’re sleeping on. At the very least, you’ll be using the side that is seemingly “cleaner” and less coated in germs or dandruff.

The long-term solve

Call them out on the habits, which are, quite frankly, major turn-offs. Or just insist you two move over to your place, where the sheets are fresh, the beauty products ample, and the
TP two-ply.

The problem: They have full-blown convos in their sleep

The short-term solve

Have! An! Orgasm! The release of hormones like oxytocin and prolactin not only alleviates stress (which is often at the root of sleep talking) but also makes it so you’re both
literally too tired to say goodni—.

The long-term solve

Sorry to send ’em back to third grade, but it’s time to establish a solid sleep schedule. Insist on going to bed and waking up at the same time ev-er-y day. Better sleep hygiene = helping nix these midnight convos for good.

The problem: This wild twitcher kicks and moves and jerks…you out of a deep slumber.

The short-term solve

Doesn’t seem like it atm, but this is actually nbd if it happens only once in a while—they’re probably just stressed or sleep deprived. Put that weighted blanket to use to help minimize their movement.

The long-term solve

Time to ditch the boozy (read: sleep-disrupting) nightcap or opt for a magnesium supplement at least an hour before bed. If it’s still an issue, it may be worth making an appointment with ye olde sleep specialist.


Sources: Juliana Hauser, PhD, marriage and family therapist; Lauri Leadley, clinical sleep educator and president of Valley Sleep Center; Mandana Mahmoudi, MD, PhD, instructor in the department of medicine at NYU Langone Health; Rebecca Robbins, phD, sleep expert and Dagsmejan Scientific Advisory Board member; Ellen Wermter, family nurse practitioner with the Better Sleep Council.

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