Whether you’re complimenting the cute barista’s overalls or asking your latest Hinge match about the new King Princess album, there’s no shortage of ways to lay down some Sapphic small talk.
But if you’re feeling nervous about initiating a pickup line with a woman, know that it’s incredibly common. (After all, the lack of LGBTQ+ representation in mainstream media, and, you know, the existence of homophobia, doesn’t exactly make things easier.)
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But “queer flirting is a way of leaning into the possibilities. It’s special as a first step to open yourself up to someone else,” says Michele Giordano, vice president of digital crisis services at The Trevor Project. And while “many LGBTQ+ people share this experience,” remember that “there is no correct way to be queer,” says Giordano.
So, no, I can’t give you an L-Word style posse of hot lesbian powerhouse friends to guide you—but I can give you some winning conversation starters to initiate your flirting.
Below, 17 amazing pickup line ideas from women who’ve used them:
1. “Ask them to explain something, like how to cook a certain food or how to fix something around the house and then as they’re explaining, say, ‘Why don’t you show me? I prefer a hands-on approach.’” — Ana, 25
2. “Let’s make this simple, how about I let you-haul me back to your place?” — Rebi, 28
3. “One time I told a barista, “I like your overalls,” and asked where she got them from. It turned into a long conversation about gay fashion and how to find ‘men’s’ pants with big hips. We dated for a while after that! — Krysta, 22
4. “I grew out my undercut, but I could still get under you.” — Jana, 25
5. “I was thinking of a Subaru pickup line, but then I wondered, if lesbians are defined by the things we consume, how do I get defined by you?” — Lani, 28
6. “Honestly I usually just give cute girls my business card (I work at an arboretum) and say ‘Text me about your favorite plant!’ I’ve found that just being myself helps me find people who also love plants or who will at least be excited that plants make me so excited. — Soph, 28
7. “I met my now-girlfriend at a party because I asked her ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, busted your ass, and then od had to put it back together?’” She has a super fine booty and gets awful comments from strangers all the time, but I think me saying something so silly immediately broke the ice.” — Chris, 30
8. “Lesbians are just nice, we don’t have to do any tricks. I normally ask someone how their day is going and then genuinely listen.” — Belen, 24
9. In my city, most of the queer people are polyamorous, so when I ever find someone on a dating app that says they’re monogamous, I’ll message them something like, ‘Seems like we’re the last monogamous queer people in the city! Guess we should go on a date.’” — Diamond, 25
10. “I don’t have a Subaru, but I can be a sub for you.” — Olive, 24
11. “With lesbians you literally can’t go wrong with astrology. Ask for their sign, and then to really wow them, ask for their moon and Venus.” — Staci, 22
12. I go ‘I love your rings,’ something that brings attention to their hands. Maybe make a joke about their nails or not needing a manicure. — Mora, 26
13. Ask her for her name, give her yours, then ask if she wants to go somewhere to pass the Bechdel test with you. — JP, 28
14. “I don’t usually wear makeup, but I think that lipstick you’re wearing would look great on me.” — Maggie, 22
15. “Maybe like, ‘Do you like Clario?’ Although, actually, maybe switch it to King Princess.” — C. 23
16. I matched with a super hot girl on Tinder last year and one of pics was meme of a possum on top of other possum. She asked, “So are you the top possum or the bottom one?” We hooked up for a few months. — Soraya, 26
17. “What’s your favorite animal?” works every time. — Byeol, 24
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