Ahhhh, Christmas. The time for gift giving, cocoa drinking, chestnut roasting, and… dishing out dirty Christmas-themed pickup lines. Yup, with Santa’s “ho, ho, ho” mantra and the naughty and nice list, this holiday is literally perfect for your dirty mind.
With the smell of cookies in the air, warm feelings all around, and mistletoe hidden at every corner, there’s no wonder you’re all in your feels. Whether you’re interested in finding a virtual jingle babe to send these to or have a S.O. lucky enough to go into cuffing season with, we’ve got you covered.
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We might not be Santa’s actual helpers, but with these 30 Christmas-themed pickup lines, you’ll have some solid one-liners to whip out in no time.
(Just remember that, like all things, it’s important to make sure these lines are used consensually. Only use ’em when you know they’ll be received well, especially the super-sexual ones. Because you KNOW we have some of those.)
If you want to make them your permanent Santa baby:
- Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
- Forget Santa, you’re on my nice list.
- I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
- Are you Christmas? Because I want to merry you.
- You make me more excited than seeing gifts under a Christmas tree.
- You’re the only reindeer for me.
- If a big man puts you in a bag tonight, don’t worry. I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
- All I want for Christmas is you. *cue Mariah Carey singing*
- I feel like a Christmas tree when you talk to me because I light up.
- I didn’t think I was a snowman but you just made me melt.
- Forget 12 days of Christmas, I want 12 days with you.
When you want to get naughty with your partner:
- I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas?
- Do you like the song “Jingle Bells”? Because we could go all the way.
- How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?
- Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.
- We don’t need a sleigh, you can ride me instead.
- Wanna see the toys the elves make for adults?
- Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight.
- Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
- I just got some mistletoe, how about we go back to my place and try it out?
- I know what gift I want to give you tonight.
When you want them to know they sleigh:
- Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
- Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because you’re a star.
- If you were a tree, you’d be an evergreen because I bet you look this good year-round.
- Call me Rudolph because you just sleighed me.
- Even Santa doesn’t make candy as sweet as you.
- I was going to warm my hands by the fireplace but you’re much hotter.
- You’re not just a gift, you’re the whole package.
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