“You got that?” sexpert Tyomi Morgan asked while motioning for me to give the hip movement a try. I was halfway through my virtual private workout session, and I could already feel my inner thighs shaking. My abs (or lack thereof) felt like they were made of Jell-O.
I stepped back onto my yoga mat and got into position: knees bent, core tight, and ponytail perky enough to be flicked sassily and often (not a requirement, but a personal preference for getting through any workout). My hips crunched and creaked through the movement, and the position felt foreign to my stiff “I sit at a computer for 10 hours a day” body.
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“Yaaaas, Rachel!” Tyomi shouted from the screen, her smile making me laugh as I panted through the ten remaining repetitions. “Get that dick,” she cheered.
From the start, it was clear Tyomi’s “Cowgirl Workout” would be no ordinary fitness class—and she sure as hell wouldn’t be like any ordinary fitness instructor, either.
I signed up for the certified sexologist, pleasure coach, and movement specialist’s famed cowgirl workout after I heard about it from a friend. I read that Tyomi would teach the ins and outs (literally) of having—you guessed it—cowgirl-style sex, and I was totally game.
Sooo, I opted for the private, one-on-one session with Tyomi, which came out to be $250. (Sure, that price tag is a lot heftier than your average fitness class, but I wasn’t just investing in a stronger core, I was investing in a hotter sex life. Just as one might spend $250 on a very high-end vibrator, I’d spend $250 on a dick-riding class because, hi, your girl needs something to break up the monotony of These Times.)
Tyomi’s initial email read: “The goal of the workout is to help women feel more empowered and connected to their bodies, so I always encourage my clients to dress sexy.” So I pulled out a pair of booty shots and a tied crop top that I hadn’t worn since 2017. Sexy cowgirl vibes FTW.
When the big day rolled around, I prepped my at-home studio space (aka my closet) with a yoga mat, water bottle, and sweat rag. It seemed I was officially ready to learn how to properly ride a dick.
When Tyomi showed up on screen, she was warm and fun and refreshingly welcoming with her leopard spotted background and matching outfit. We started the private session out just like any other Zoom call: introducing ourselves, making sure our mics were working, and apologizing in advance for any dog-related interruptions.
After answering a few questions about my fitness level—which is basically “I consider walking to the fridge exercise”—Tyomi showed me the eight different moves we’d be utilizing during the class. She explained the 45-minute workout would focus on strength, flexibility, and stamina.
Apparently once I mastered the basic eight strokes, I’d be able to create up to 30 (30!!!) different positions depending on how my hands and feet were positioned. (I’m sorry, who knew there was so much variety in girl-on-top sex????)
I watched as Tyomi expertly mounted her giant unicorn stuffed animal named Sparkle—yup, an actual prop she uses—and her hips swirled and pulsed with ease. Her breathing was steady as she explained how each different move changed the sensations for both partners.
“Ready?” she asked, grabbing a sip of water and planting herself directly in front of the camera. And thus began 45 minutes of me grunting and sweating from the inside of my closet.
Quick thrusts, slow rolls, and swirling movements that incorporated my entire body occupied our Zoom session. Some moves felt natural—like the hip bridges (which is basically normal riding dick movement). Other moves felt more advanced—like when I was standing and bending my hips into a deep squat (which is, like, hard-hard and what you most often see in le porn).
“You got it, Rachel,” Tyomi would encourage, offering me both tips for how to better accomplish the moves and affirmation that I wasn’t just a blubbering, sweating fool humping air next to my sundresses.
Let me tell you, I loved every second of the burn.
By the end of the class, I was drenched. My Fitbit said I burned over 650 calories and my lower half was quivering. But I felt more sexually charged than I had in a while—it was like my libido was yawning and stretching and awakening. My desire had seemingly spiked and boy, oh boy, was my husband in for a treat.
Testing Out My New Moves on the Hubs
That night, despite my muscles still feeling like gelatin, I told my husband to come to bed early. As soon as he nestled down in our king size bed (a place I normally hate to have sex), I mounted him—a move in itself that caused his breathing to accelerate and his eyes to widen.
We started simple with my hands on his chest. I moved my hips forward and back, making sure to tuck in my tailbone and push through my pelvis with each stroke like Tyomi taught me. We made it through the first few moves, but by the time the hip circles came around, it was all over. We laid in bed after, panting, both exhausted and exhilarated.
Over the next few days, I kept putting my new training to the test (even though I woke up the morning after my class with sore legs and a tight abdomen). In addition to practicing my strokes on myself like Tyomi suggested—fifty repetitions of each!— I also pulled my husband into the bedroom and onto the couch multiple times as my IRL prop. Each time I mounted him, I felt my hips open more, my breathing become steadier, and my technique became more refined.
“What are you doing to me?” He asked after I finally managed to pull off the entire routine Tyomi crafted for me without hyperventilating. “This is some sort of witchcraft.”
He laid back with his eyes closed, completely sated as I smiled and rolled off of him, flexing my toes and feeling stronger and sexier than I have in years.
Yeah, It’s Time You Sign Up For This
“The Cowgirl Workout” wasn’t exactly how I pictured bringing fitness—or “riding on top and actually enjoying it” sex—back into my life. But it was exactly what my sex drive needed.
And if you’re interested in trying it out for yourself, highly highly recommend you do the same. You can be like me and opt for a private session with Tyomi for $250, or you can opt into the monthly membership plan for $25 a month, which includes group workouts and the ability to connect with other community members.
Above just a way to learn about becoming an A+ dick rider, this workout is a safe place to work on your confidence, show yourself that you can be sexy with or without a partner, and help alleviate any build-up tension or anxiety you may be experiencing.
For me, personally, I have a feeling I’m now well on my way to becoming a lifelong Dick Assassin (Tyomi’s words, not mine).
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