Have you ever had your whole life come crashing down around you? Several years ago, I did when I went through an excruciatingly painful breakup, an unexpected move to a new city, and a period of questioning my career path—all at once! I felt disconnected from my magic, my body, and my professional identity. That was several years ago, and when as I reflect on that time, I can hardly believe that I felt so lost and detached from myself—now I live in Manhattan and have a thriving business as a professional witch and tarot reader.
How did I go from what felt like the deepest, darkest pit to my literal dream life in a few short years? I dedicated myself to a solo sex magic practice, and it completely changed my life. At the time, I needed a reminder of my agency over my own body. Sex magic can be a partnered practice, but focusing on a solo path allowed me to put my self-love first.
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I wish I could tell you that solo sex magic was as easy as laying around my boudoir all day, masturbating until my dreams come true. And yes, that’s part of the story, but only a small part. When I began this practice, I needed to release my past trauma and self-restrictions. I needed to reconnect with myself, and most importantly, I needed to figure out exactly what I wanted in order to manifest the life I desired.
I started with small professional goals, like nailing a freelance writing contract I was competing for (I got it 24 hours after a ritual!). Then I set my sights higher—on big ideas, like demystifying witchcraft and normalizing sex magic. Less than 48 hours later, I was asked to appear as a guest on one of my favorite network TV shows to talk about… the power of sex magic. As I grew comfortable manifesting bigger goals, I began to feel more worthy of accepting abundance into my life. Over time, I eased back into a connection with my body and healed my emotional heartbreak.
What is sex magic, exactly? It sounds titillating, thrilling, and exotic, because any phrase that contains the words “sex” and “magic” will pique interest. But versions of this technique have long been present in cultures all around the world. Sex magic is an ancient manifestation practice that amplifies your intentions with the energetic power of an orgasm. It’s a form of sacred sexuality that connects us with our human bodies, as well as the (vibe-y phrase incoming) ~astral plane~. Best of all, it’s a way to empower yourself.
By practicing sex magic, you can channel your sexual energy to land that promotion, call in a new love, or boost your self-confidence. You can also use it to release anything holding you back—a toxic former lover you can’t stop thinking about, the lingering effects of past trauma, or old patterns of behavior you no longer wish to engage in. A solo sex magic practice can remind you of your own inherent power, your ability to heal yourself, and your worthiness to receive your desires.
Here’s how to work your solo sex magic:
- Set the mood. Light some candles, put on your favorite sensual playlist, and spritz your favorite fragrance. Create a space where you feel comfortable, and be sure to have privacy. (Nothing ruins a mood like having a roommate or family member walk in!)
- Dress for the occasion. This is a magical experience, so dress up! Put on whatever makes you feel like your best self, whether it’s a special lingerie set, a gorgeous robe, or your most luxurious pajamas.
- Be clear with your intentions. Begin this ritual by creating a mantra (a word or phrase) or sigil (a symbol) to use as an aid in focusing your objective. Keep it short, sweet, and direct—think phrases such as “I trust my intuition,” “My heart is open to love,” or “The promotion is mine.”
- Masturbate as you focus on your mantra. You can use sex toys, or simply feel the power in your own hands. Visualize what you desire and feel the intention throughout your entire body and being.
- Take your time. Relax, quiet your mind, and be present in your own body. Magic cannot be rushed. Focus on your intention and imagine your desired results coming to fruition. As you build towards your climax, picture your goals being accomplished, and as you reach your peak, focus on your mantra or intention and send it out into the Universe. (If you can’t orgasm, it’s all good—simply focus on maximizing your arousal. Sex magic is about accepting pleasure, connecting with your body, and raising your sexual vibration—all of which you can do without an orgasm.)
Even if you don’t believe in the potency of sex magic, give it a try—masturbation feels good and is proven to have positive effects on your mental health! Plus, if it might help make your desires a reality, what do you have to lose?
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