Sexual preferences are a lot like how you order your pizza. In the same way some people dig pineapple or pepperoni or cauliflower crust, everyone has a different sexual taste too. That’s because sexual preferences span across a spectrum, and what may turn someone on might have the very opposite effect for someone else.
But even though every individual is different, there are a few solid things you should always keep in mind when having sex with a woman. And if you want to unlock those secrets, I’d highly recommend you 1) Communicate and ask your partner what she’s into, or 2) Refer to the tips in this article.
This content is imported from embed-name. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Because regardless of if this is a new partner or someone you’ve consistently had sex with, there are some things most women crave in the bedroom, but don’t necessarily want to ask for. In other words, you’re welcome for the peek inside the woman brain:
1. Time and attention
It may seem like an obvious “duh” but you’d be surprised by how quickly things can move in the moment. For sex of any kind, choose to take the scenic route instead of the short cut, advises certified sexologist Gail Crowder. “Start from the top of our head and go all the way down to our toes. It truly takes women 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm, so having a patient partner helps us experience sexual fulfillment,” she says.
The only thing hotter than feeling like a priority is the gdam sun itself. “Women want a partner who puts her needs first and makes her pleasure a priority,” says dating expert Jaida Pervis, a senior VP at matchmaking firm Select Date Society. “The great thing about being a selfless lover is that your partner will want to reciprocate.” (Which seems like a win-win here.)
3. A safe space that is free of judgement
“Sex isn’t always perfect—unexpected things happen like cramps, periods, queefs, gagging, and more,” says clinical sexologist Cain Joyland. “All are quite common and may seem embarrassing, but women want to feel safe during sex and know that whatever happens is okay and free of judgement.” These are the things you should 100 percent laugh about and move on from, mmk?
Look, no one wants to bone in one position all night. Novelty is what excites the brain, whether that’s through a new sex position, toy, or outfit. Tyomi Morgan, certified sexologist for Sweet Vibes, suggests playing more games, experimenting with different sex positions, having sex in different places in the home, and/or using a toy. The reason: “Doing the same moves and having sex in the same positions or in the same place becomes mundane for women who are in long term partnerships or if they are having sex with the same person consistently.”
5. Cunnilingus on par with every dude’s blow job fantasy
You know how guys want you to be so into sucking their dick that you’re literally like, gagging and tearing up? We want the same for when we get head. No, you don’t have to tear up, but passionate enthusiasm never hurt anyone.
6. Ability to read the room re: cuddling
Sometimes you want to be cuddled and spooned, sometimes you want to stay on opposite sides of the bed. While these preferences can differ not only from person-to-person, but also with each situation, it’s best to check in with your partner and see what’s up. Just a simple “Can I spoon you?” or something works here.
7. An open mind
Maybe you want to bring toys into the mix or try something different in bed. Being vulnerable when you’re naked is even harder, so having a partner who you can trust and feel safe around is key.
8. Vocal enthusiasm
There is nothing hotter than a partner who is just stoked to be with you and can’t stop geeking out over how hot he thinks you are, or how much you turn him on. Get loud and get freaky with it. Tell her how much you want her and can’t stop thinking about her.
9. Peace of mind when it comes to protection
Be prepared, and assume we’re doing it with a condom unless otherwise agreed upon beforehand. Don’t pressure me to take it off halfway through or look at me dumbfounded with your dick hanging out of your pants like you’ve never heard the word “condom” before. Just don’t do it! I will walk out. I really will.
10. An orgasm
Sex shouldn’t end with just the male orgasm — especially if she hasn’t had one yet. If you’re going to be too exhausted after you orgasm, make sure she’s taken care of beforehand. It’s not rocket science. If you know, for sure, you’re going to get yours, wouldn’t you want your partner to enjoy herself too?
There’s a time and a place for wordlessly-grunty sex, but having a partner who asks if you’re into something or if you want it another way is also nice. You don’t get any extra points for making it to the finish line without saying a peep.
12. A clean bed
It’s really, really hard to let yourself go and enjoy yourself if you can feel your calves brushing up against any sedimentary layers of sweat, grime, and hookups past on his Target comforter with every grunt.
13. A spare phone charger
If I have to call an Uber afterwards, I want to be able to listen to music or check Twitter on my ride back, and I can’t do that if I stupidly let my phone just rot for the nine and a half minutes we had sex. And if I’m staying the night, I might still want to check Twitter if you fall asleep before me. Sue me!
It’s not a race to the finish line! You can take your time and draw stuff out and enjoy yourselves. A little patience will carry you a long, long way. Besides, if the orgasm was the only thing that mattered about sex, I’d be dating the USB brick that charges my vibrator.
15. Sock removal
Please, please remove your socks before sex. It’s just so weird to see someone like, fully naked but still wearing socks that it can really take you out of the moment. Plus, then you run into the weird thing of like, “Should I have left my socks on?” “Do they not like feet?” “Do they think my feet are ugly?!” and spiraling into a hole of foot-based anxiety, which is not a place anybody likes to be.
16. Realistic expectations
Please don’t climb into bed with me just to morph from Jake in accounting to Ron Jeremy. Porn sex is cool and all, but real life sex isn’t always like that, and I resent the notion that it’s totally normal for a guy to flip you over wordlessly and try to stick it in your ass while calling you a dirty slut and telling you he’s gonna finish in your hair. Like, we just watched three episodes of Frasier on your laptop, stop acting like your convertible 2-bed is a sex dungeon. Chill.
Want to get the hottest sex positions, the wildest confessions, and the steamiest secrets right to your inbox? Sign up for our sex newsletter ASAP.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io