We are gathered here today to discuss why (in this astrologer’s humble opinion) you shouldn’t find out your crush’s sign before your first date. That’s right, I said should *not*. I don’t need to tell you that astrology is now a mainstream phenomenon rn, with apps like Co-Star and The Pattern at our fingertips and the words “What time were you born?” ready to fly off our fingers and into our Tinder messages.
However, the more popular astrology gets, the easier it is to get obsessed with finding the *astrological match* of our dreams. Raise your hand if you’ve googled what signs you’re most “compatible” with. Now keep your hand raised if you’ve panicked a bit when you found out that no, according to the internet, your sign was not well-matched with your crush’s. *Deep breaths.* We’ve all been there. We are now going to dive into why I humbly advise against studying your crush’s astrology before you hang with them IRL.
Your crush isn’t an astro-stereotype.
Real talk: We all just want to be seen for who we are. This means paying attention to people, reading body language, and really *listening to* what the other person is saying. When we find out our crush’s Sun sign, we may accidentally place them in a box. Let’s say your crush is a Scorpio. When you meet for your coffee date, they’re chatty and free-wheeling, using witty banter to share lots of details about their personal life. You’re thinking, “Wow, not characteristic of a Scorpio. Must be a Gemini rising.” BAM. You’ve astro-profiled. Instead of leaning in and listening to what this person is saying, you’re doing the astrological math in your head. I know. I’ve done it, too.
Dating is hard enough as it is.
Look, dating can be rough. You put yourself out there, meet new people, and take risks. It takes energy and, in these app-drenched times, *real courage.* There’s no need to make it harder on yourself by throwing astrological rules and regulations into the mix. If you’ve gotten it into your head that you’re only meant to be dating Earth signs, for example, you’re cutting out a hefty chunk of the population.
Your crush is more than their Sun sign.
Your crush’s Sun sign is important. However, it’s just one aspect in a larger cosmic conversation. If you’re thinking, “Oh great, I’ll just find out their exact birth details, so then I’ll know the whole story.” Not so fast. There’s astrology, and then there’s how we navigate the world. Sure, astrology paints a stellar picture of an energetic blueprint. However, it’s not the whole picture. Free will is ~a thing.~ Remember: We are all beautifully nuanced humans just trying to date each other.
Leave room for surprises.
Surprises are part of the thrill (and the, um, fear) of meeting new people. If you avoid digging around your crush’s natal chart, you’ll be more open to surprises. It will be all the sweeter when, after getting to know each other, they finally do utter the magical words, “My sign is…”
Astrology is a tool for insight.
At its best, astrology opens doors, boosts our understanding of ourselves, connects us with others and the Universe, and leaves lots of room for human interpretation. We want to avoid using astrology as a tool to pigeonhole ourselves or others. Sometimes, when we’re stuck on an idea about who we think someone is or isn’t based on their stars, we lose out on getting the whole picture. Not to be *too dramatic*, but we might end up missing out on an authentic human connection. Let the stars reveal, not conceal.
Take a cue from the Sun.
All of this is not to say that we can’t use the endless wisdom of astrology to navigate the dating world. Take the Sun, for instance: As the center of our solar system, the Sun lights up the sky. It wants to see and be seen. How can we see others with warmth and generosity? Date like the Sun. See you out there.