Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

What’s happening: Tonight, Mars, planet of action and energy, is conjunct Neptune, the planet of mysteries, illusions, and dreams—you’ll feel this transit now, but on Saturday, it goes exact and will be at its strongest. This creates a vague, confusing atmosphere where you’re likely to act on your feelings without thinking first. On Sunday, the Sun shares an awkward quincunx with Jupiter, the planet of abundance, making it easy for you to overextend yourself. On Tuesday, the Sun forms another quincunx, this time with Pluto, the planet of power and control, making you feel like you’re experiencing make-or-break decisions.

Mercury Retrograde begins on Thursday, in the emo water sign Cancer, but the final transit of the week, Mars sextile Uranus, the planet of surprises, offers some reprieve. This sextile allows you to feel bold, courageous, and ready for action.

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What that means:


Are you in a weird mood? Blame it on Neptune. This week, you might run into an ex and feel tempted to get back with them, but watch out. If they’re trying to get back together, take your time and seriously consider the situation. If you’re down to have a no-strings-attached hookup, however, you’re in the clear, as long as you’re open about your intentions. On Thursday, Mercury Retrograde finds you harping on past relationships—again, be cautious of starting things back up with any exes. Good news: the Mars/Uranus sextile at the very end of the week is giving you a major helping hand, and you’re feeling empowered to make tough decisions. Stand up for yourself, and you can make magic happen (or find the closure you’ve been missing out on)!


If you’re getting mixed signals with your crush or even being straight-up ghosted, Taurus, rest assured that it’s not you, it’s them. You’re a straightforward, practical earth sign, and when you want something/someone, you let ‘em know loud and clear. If your crush isn’t reciprocating that openness, now’s the time to hit the road. BTW, now is not the time to take your love life too seriously. Sending sexy snaps and risque texts is totally fine, but a LTR? Not gonna happen. Even if you’ve been talking to someone you think might be the LOYL, don’t rush into anything. Be casual. Keep your options open. If you click with someone, enjoy it, and if it’s meant to be, then they’ll stick around.


Whether you’re single, in a situationship, or 100% boo’d up, your love life is going through a rough patch. Your sign has a reputation for not being the most commitment-oriented, but your feelings for your crush/boo are pretty strong and you’re feeling tempted to rush into something serious. This is not the week to go for it. The other person is loving how affectionate you are, but they aren’t necessarily feeling the same way. Use this week’s energy to treat them with kindness and wow them in the bedroom, but if you find them taking and taking and taking without giving even a little bit in return, then reconsider. That being said, if you’re getting equal amounts of love and affection from them, then this can be an amazing, romantic, mega-hot week for your love life.


For once in your life, you’re feeling pretty bold about approaching your crush/boo! You’re less afraid to put yourself out there and slide into the DMs or send some sexts. But JSYK, your emotions are running high and catching feels is almost guaranteed to happen. This especially applies to any exes that wander into your life this week (thank Venus Retrograde for that) and you might be in danger of getting played by them. Mercury Retrograde starts at the end of the week, in your sign, so explaining your emotions and sharing your intentions is more difficult than usual. This week, don’t overthink anything, just be straightforward and say, “I want to have a little fun with you,” or “I’m looking for something serious.” That way, you can start this Mercury Retrograde off with your best foot forward and minimize your chances of complicating your love life.


Emotions are running high this weekend, Leo. If you’re boo’d up, this can be an extremely romantic time! Sex with your partner becomes a more intimate, erotic experience, and you can feel a sense of entanglement with them. If you’re single, proceed with caution, because catching feels for a fling is highly likely! If you end up falling for them, don’t be afraid to tell them, because this super f*cking emo astro-weather might mean that they’re equally as amazed by you—but if they’re not vibing on the same level, accept it and move on. Venus Retrograde has been going on for a hot-ass minute, making it so that you’re likely dealing with an ex or two, but Mercury Retrograde, starting on Thursday, makes the possibility of running into an ex flame even more likely, so, again, proceed with caution!


This weekend is hot, Virgo. One of two things can happen: first, you and your boo can share a super romantic, erotic, passion-filled time together, or second, you and bae could have a fiery, heated argument. You’re both feeling extremely emotionally charged—if your relationship is skating on thin ice, there could be trouble, but if things are just fine, expect a great time! The outcome is most likely to manifest in a positive way, luckily. If you’re single and just happen to have a 🔥🔥🔥 sexting sesh, enjoy it—but know that catching feels is likely, and you might come off as way, way extra. If they’re just as into you, this could be the start of something major, but if they’re leaving you on read, do your best to build a bridge and get over it.


This weekend is a tough one, Libra. You should already be planning to stay at home (because, you know, coronavirus), but even if you do have plans, you’re likely feeling in a funk and want to cancel. If you’re boo’d up, you’re totes not in the mood, either. You’re back to your usual self by the end of the weekend, but try to keep things low-key. You’re feeling bold enough to hit up your crush or pounce on your boo, but as much as you absolutely live for drama (no offense), try to dazzle them without being over-the-top. Mercury Retrograde starts Thursday, and it’s not impacting your love life (but might make your job a bit of a nightmare). The Mars/Uranus sextile on Thursday is giving you a wonderful opportunity to change the day-to-day behaviors you exhibit towards your partner. If you feel like things have gotten stale, shake it up and try something new in bed—even little things to change your routine can do wonderful things for your relationship now.


This weekend is incredibly emotionally charged for everyone, but especially you, Scorpio—luckily, the emotions you’re feeling are good ones! You’re über-romantic and horny as f*ck, so whether you’re boinking your boo, going on a Zoom date, or just sexting your FWB, you’re having a spectacular time. But as much as you’d love to go back for a round two, three, or fifty, try to remember that your partner needs a break to refuel every now and then! Mars and Uranus form a sextile on Thursday, representing an opportunity, and for you, those exciting, productive vibes are head straight towards your love life. If your sky-high confidence and mega-strong libido didn’t make you do it already, ask your crush out! Super-like that hottie on Tinder! If you’re ready for it, ask your S.O. if they want to upgrade your relationship! The possibilities are limitless this week, Scorpio, so take advantage of this auspicious astro-weather.


Sorry Sag, but the next week isn’t the best for your love life, bb. Life at home is more stressful than usual, so you want nothing more than to either A) lock yourself in your room and ignore everyone else you live with or B) rush over to your boo’s place faster than a bat out of hell! TBH, it’s best to go with the first option, because there’s some volatile astro-weather (plus Venus Retrograde still going on) that could make things tough. If you’re single and crushing hard, or casually seeing someone, you’re feeling 200% fired up and ready to commit—even if they’re not ready. If you’re boo’d up, you’re feeling confident about taking your relationship to the next level—again, even if your partner isn’t ready. So talk about your wants and try to have a healthy dialogue (which means you have to listen just as much as you speak!). Mercury Retrograde starts on Thursday and with it comes a few challenges for your sex life. You might never be in the mood, or your boo might never be in the mood, or you might just struggle to feel the chemistry. Remember, retrogrades are a time to review your life, get rid of what’s not working, and find new things that do work.


You tend to keep your feelings locked up, but this weekend your emotions are coming out, Capricorn. This isn’t a bad thing, necessarily—maybe you’re crushing hard on someone and you feel like you absolutely must share your feelings. Maybe you want to give your current relationship an upgrade to the next level. Honestly, I say go for it, but keep in mind that the other person might feel differently. If they do, don’t panic! It’s okay for them to take their time. This is the only real potential obstacle (and BTW, it’s not even that big of an obstacle) you face this weekend. For most of the week, your love/sex life can carry on without a hitch, until……. Mercury Retrograde starts on Thursday. This retrograde is happening in your chart’s zone of relationships, so things with your lover, FWB, and maybe even your ex may get complicated. Mars and Uranus form a sextile aspect on Thursday, helping you feel confident, speak your mind, and try new things (something you really hate to do). You can ask someone out or just surprise your partner with a new toy, position, or kink in bed. Have fun!


Watch out, Aquarius, because it looks like your ex is sliding into your DMs this week! They might seem like they have good intentions when they first arrive, but don’t expect any major developments afterwards. Have fun if you’re in the mood, or just hit the block button if you want nothing to do with them. If you do decide to get back up with them, be prepared for them to act up a little. They’re super focused on the past, and whether they’re trying to rekindle your old love affair, they’re trying to find closure, or they want to call you out for making them feel wronged, it doesn’t matter—if you want to leave the past in the past, let ‘em know! It’s in your best interest to keep things as simple as possible this weekend, so you can avoid any unnecessary drama.


You have a (well-earned) rep for being the most emotional sign, Pisces, and this weekend you’re really living up to your stereotype. If your relationship is going well, you might have an intimate, super romantic time with your boo. If you’ve been crushing hard, your heightened emotions and stronger sense of intuition can help you to feel out whether your crush is vibing with you. If things with your love life aren’t doing so hot, however, you’re likely to get into arguments—yikes. On Thursday, Mars sextile Uranus allows you to stand up for yourself if things are going poorly with your love life, or have an even hotter time with your partner if things are running well! Thursday is also the day that Mercury Retrograde in Cancer starts. You’re probs already panicking, but you’re actually not running into too many challenges this go-‘round. This retrograde is occurring in your chart’s fifth house, the luckiest zone of anyone’s chart—it can take anything, no matter how bad, and turn it around and make it into something more positive. You’re being given the opportunity to take a look at yourself in and start better, hotter, more fun behaviors. Masturbate, try new things in bed, and be shameless when showing affection to others, and you can have an extremely productive Mercury Retrograde.

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